..SHOULD BE IN JOKES ...BUT...
Jun 30, 2007 0:20:54 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2007 0:20:54 GMT -5
: Questions about Canada (Factual)
>To all you travellers out there ...........................
Now that Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are
>some questions people the world over are asking! Believe it or not these
>questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
>Obviously the answers are a joke but the questions were really asked.
> Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
>grow? (England)
> A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and
>watch them die.
>
> Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
> A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
>
> Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto can I follow the
>Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
> A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
>
> Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
> A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
>
> Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
>contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
> A: Let's not touch this one.
>
> Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a
>list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and
> Halifax? (England)
> A: What did your last slave die of?
>
> Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ?
>(USA)
> A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
>Ca-na-da is that big country to your North..oh forget it. Sure, the hippo
>racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
>
> Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
> A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get
>here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
>
>
> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
> A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>
> Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
>which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays everyTuesday
>night inVancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come
>naked.
>
> Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany)
> A: No, we don't stink.
>
> Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
>you sell it in Canada ? (USA)
> A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
>
> Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
>population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
> A: Yes, *** nightclubs
>
> Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
> A: Only at Thanksgiving.
>
> Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
>round? (Germany)
> A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk
>is illegal.
>
> Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget
>its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
> A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent. They roam
>the city streets eating the brains of anyone walking close to them.
>Spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking will scare
>them off.
>
> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
> A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.